Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So much rum. So many feels.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
