I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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