Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
