Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
