I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
