I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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