sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize