We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
