btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
