It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
