You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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