Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
