All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
