Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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