I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
