are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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