you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
