I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
