can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize