he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
