Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
