Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
