Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Randomize