I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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