found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
zippers are such a cool invention
i will never coherently bang her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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