Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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