why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
