garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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