Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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