what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
