so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
