The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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