I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
