Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't think brook has ever known best
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
