why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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