well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
