so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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