Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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