3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize