yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is Oprah even human
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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