Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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