and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
