I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize