My nipple is on Facebook.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
