He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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