We're facebook friends in real life
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
