I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
