i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
