oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
