Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
