p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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