the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
