My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
