How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
