Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
