Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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