Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
