i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
