I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
