Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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