i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My life is pants optional.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
