perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
