there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
