I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's the barista slut.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
