ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
